Just genius - no gimmicks, just funny

OMG - the official trailer for Hotshots Part 3 has just been released. Charlie Sheen @20thcenturyfox #Trump

Retweeting math stuff makes me a genius...

Laughed way too much at this

Teacher: You have one pie, there are four people who want pie, what percentage of the pie would you get? Me: 100%

Fuck me - first Brexit, then Trump - now they’ve gone and fixed the Champions League!

RT & follow Funko for a chance to WIN a Jaws🦈 Pop! Prize Pack!!

Simon: What’s your name? Me: Daniel Simon: And what are you going to do? Me: I’m going to explain how GDPR will affect the mailing list you’ve been building for the last 5 years Amanda: Good luck #email #gdpr #stillgoing

Me: Hello is that the Nigeria High Commission? Operator: Who is this? Me: It’s Daniel - I’m calling about the oil money - I believe I can help Operator: Who? Me: You emailed me...? Operator: I have no idea who you are *click Me: Can you at least return my passport? #email

Molly-Mae: I got a text Tommy: What does it say? Molly-Mae: We have made some changes to our privacy policy. In order to keep receiving our notifications please update your preferences. #Marketing #gdpr #loveisland

These retargeting campaigns obviously have no idea about what I’ve been looking at - my car doesn’t even have paddle shift... #DigitalMarketing #Advertising #Pixel

Shopping for a case for the new iPhone 11 - is this a feature people look for now? #iPhone11

Yo Dean, yo Dean, Yo Dean, Yo Dean… I’m begging of you please don’t take our man… #arsenal #smithrowe #afc #COYG

So my phone has a nifty bit of software that lets me make videos during extra time… #EnglandvGermany #ENGvsGER #ENG #EURO2020

Looking forward to joining my fellow council members in another lively discussion...

Polka will never die!

Anyone else watching Tiger King 2 - think I might know why the local law haven’t found anything… 🤣 #TigerKing2 #TigerKing #carolebaskin

I created a Notion Project Manager - A system to manage projects and tasks in a systematic way. I am giving it away for FREE for the next 72hrs! To get: - Like and RT this tweet - Comment "Project" below and i'll DM you the link. (Must be following to receive)

Me: So ducks quack, owls hoot, crows caw...what do you do? Penguin: I'm a tax attorney. Me: Ah. That explains the briefcase.