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CEO of adding “etc.” to the end of every example 💅

anything can be scissors if you try hard enough

i love that 1% of the random books in baldur’s gate 3 are objectively hilarious and you’ll only know if you’re the flavor of nerd who actually reads them

children who are constantly criticized grow into teens who learn to hate themselves for failing to live up to others’ expectations who grow into adults that reflexively over-apologize because they’ve been conditioned to believe they’re always disappointing everyone

me: i should reflect more 🧠: *accidentally uncovers a core wound from 2004* me: never mind lol

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million: 1. Get up at 5:00AM every day 2. 90 minutes of cardio 3. Take a cold shower 4. Journal 5. Schedule out your day 6. Dad owns Fortune 500 company 7. Meditate

did it hurt? when you realized you gravitate to neurodivergent & queer spaces because it feels like being a theater kid again

me: why won’t this headache go away? 🧠: water plz me: coffee? 🧠: no, water me: tylenol? 🧠: w a t e r me: WHAT COULD IT BE

turns out this whole “not thinking about my next meal until i’m hangry and don’t have the patience or energy to cook” thing is sabotaging my life

“you look tired today” yes?? and???

CEO of putting on noise-canceling headphones and forgetting to put on any music 🎧

1️⃣ “what’d you say?” 2️⃣ “sorry, still didn’t catch that.” 3️⃣ “i’m really sorry, one more time?” 4️⃣ *chuckle and nod, hoping that was the correct response*

you HAVE to stop telling yourself you’re going to make banana bread with your dying bananas. you’re not gonna make banana bread. just let them go, man.

99 problems and i could have prevented 98 of them if i’d started sooner

“Isn’t it dangerous to use one’s entire vocabulary in a single sentence?” is such an underrated Disney burn

Procrastination is a hard habit to kick. Here are my top 10 tips for finishing what you start: 1. Make a list 2.