Went to a big family reunion for my wife's fam today. I made a big pitcher of bloody Mary mix up and brought vodka, skewers with olives and lemon on them and plenty of ice and cups. Needless to say I was everyone's favorite.

2-year-old son: *calmly letting me give him medicine* Wife: “How come he doesn’t throw a fit for you?!” 4-year-old son: “Cause Dad doesn’t play that shit”

The official shoe of “I no longer require the touch of a woman.”

Trump Announces He Has Evidence Thomas Massie Is Only Weeks Away From Acquiring Nuclear Weapons buff.ly/pz5RI7c

Jaco lays it down, and Weather Report locks in... “Barbary Coast” is pure jazz-funk cool.

Actual collected footage of caveman U.S. Representative Al Green #ImpeachTrumpNOW youtube.com/watch?v=Ho67yl… "News flash, shit glasses; you're going back to your cave."

Am I broken because I actually LIKE the smell of my armpits? Not like days after a shower, but like after a day or so. Not when it's gotten bad, mind, but when my own pheromones are on olfactory display. Smells good.

Some of you will get this.

#NYC The people who railed against this voted for this

Affluent, white, female liberals will not rest until they've destroyed what's left of Western civilization. The most dangerous demographic on earth.

The inventor of modern-day NYC: “Sodom, but with Soviet economics.”

‘BLADE RUNNER’ released 43 years ago today the iconic “Tears in rain” monologue was improvised by Rutger Hauer. He cut the scripted speech by several lines, adding, "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain” After filming crew applauded

Jesus Christ, the honey badger is even more metal than previously thought

Nusch Eluard... Hubba hubba!!!

loan underwriters at freddie mac determining if an unemployed teenager has enough fartcoin to secure a mortgage.

Make Maine Republican Again.

Nusch...

"So, I preach from a whale pulpit back home in Poland." "What do you preach about?" "Nineveh business."