My dad has taken up writing beautiful poetry

Guy: *pulling up to parking spot* Me: *catching my breath* spot’s taken🧎‍♂️ Guy: You just sprinted over and kneeled here. you’re not even in a car Me: 🧎‍♂️ Guy: …ok. *driving up to next spot* My wife: 🧎‍♀️*breathing heavily*

BULLY: give me one reason not to beat the brakes off you twerp ME: (pulling trident out of my locker) I got three reasons for you right here. HUPP *I fling the trident into his chest*

Trying to find an old tweet I made where a guy is trying to park but I’m kneeling in the parking spot, and when he goes to a new spot my wife is in that one. Swear the Twitter search thing is terrible. Maybe I dreamt it…

hollow

if i was a character in a horror video game id be constantly battling psychosis, have no fast walk option, and could only use the candle from my baptism to light my way. and every cutscene would involve a flashback of my dad teaching me how to pray

My interpretation of Don Quixote De La Mancha and Sancho Panza

Hired a local Meat Boy to do some work around the farm Meat Boy

tiktok hot girl: honey your greatest insecurity is literally invisible to everyone else. go out and slay me, stitching it, head shaped exactly like a W: (staring silently at the camera) my 1 follower: the sun always sets in the direction of bro’s head

More fishing text poetry from Dad

Experienced the new The Cure album on a hike today

My dad’s fishing buddies had to deal with too many bodily hook removals. Classic Todd solution.

Date: Mind if I smoke? Me: nay, *I blow flames from my mouth to light her cig* Date: Something’s different about you… Me: 😌 aye, me farther was a droogan, an’ his farther before hem Date: Your accent 😍 Me: *dragon wings rip out of my back* 😖it’s the bloody transfarmation

Thank you oh so much to the wickedly talented Finn-9️⃣ for immortalizing my brother's D&D character of six years and going strong. Check out Finn if you need some sick art!!

Everything dies warmie, that's a fact But maybe everything that dies someday comes back Put your snowboots on, aim your scope with malice And meet me tonight in Drill City Nightmare Dallas

blog! it's all about the war-torn ice moon, Europa. my thoughts on it trending, some of my fav posts, and details about the TTRPG zine 📜✍️ tablescrapsrpg.blogspot.com/2025/04/meanwh…