Beto O'Rourke vs. Ted Cruz

Two trump appointees are responsible for delaying stimulus payments to nearly 30,000,000 people. I’ve been calling on President Biden to fire the both of them before they destroy Social Security.

Thinking about the time the Queen hazed the crown prince of Saudi Arabia at Balmoral by going Mario Andretti in her Land Rover

Poor MvdP has not been having the best luck of late.

In the first of a two-part special, Paul Kimmage explains his role in one of the biggest scandals in sporting history. buff.ly/3X9vxRg

SRAM jumps on the electronic shifting bandwagon and I've got a review and spycam pictures: tinyurl.com/bsm4nhq

Among other shocking revelations, Katusha plan to hire @captaintbag1 as staff joke writer to compete on Twitter: tinyurl.com/an2sskk

Find out what recreational cyclists are doing to achieve the Rapha-esque air of indifferent suffering on Box Hill: tinyurl.com/atkqot9

@NYC_Cyclist There are always elements of truth to every good bit of satire, don't you know?

I talk to Bioflow nanotechnologist Hugh Janus to discover why Geraint Thomas had a magnetic failure at TDU: tinyurl.com/bx355a9

UCI expands peloton by 4.5% to accommodate Katusha in WorldTour; I reveal their recovery measures and rollbacks: tinyurl.com/bxvqeub

My report on @Ride_Argyle's proposal to introduce controversial new treatment for riders plagued by fatigue: tinyurl.com/axk9mqg

Well this *is* annoying. Come on Twitter, get your shit together. Strongly suspect that Aaron T. Overlord Brown has smthing to do with this…

Incredibly, my @cyclismas account has now been suspended. This is getting on my nerves. cc Bill Hue

@Farts4Lance Vatever are you talking about? And vat is vis your name? Do you have an anal emission fetish?

@RealBeazed Zis poor doggie is sufferering ze effects of PTSD - Post Traumatic Schizo Disorder. Ve need to address ze repression of ze past.

@FrankieTheThird Obviously a case of transferrence. You don't desire ze doggy's mater, you yearn for ze doggy's master. We need to talk.

@FrankieTheThird "Copious bandwidth expenditure?" Is zis vat you are calling your fluid emissions, mein freund?

@techknowgn Rick Tillery Ve like ze Grateful Dead on our iPod. Cherry Garcia is soothing to the savage beastliness of mein patients.

@FrankieTheThird I vas chust having a little wiener schnitzel und sinking about mein lady freund. Perhaps she'd like me to share a snapshot?