No, Kent Police. I do not recognise this man. On behalf of decent people everywhere, prioritise serious crime over the painting of postboxes 🤦

Well that's very generous Tesco Bank but sadly I am not travelling via time machine so cant take advantage of this discount 🤷😂

So the Rock's consent moment on the Drew Barrymore show, a 🧵 By now you might have seen a video clip of The Rock on Drew Barrymore's show. She's (hilariously) dressed up in his legendary turtleneck fanny pack outfit, and asks if he can do five squats with her on his back. 1/

PREACH 🙌

No, you did not see me using de-icer spray to get rid of a huge spider from my side mirror in the car park of a supermarket, and then down the side of my car as it frighteningly ran underneath it. I fear this war has only just started

I enjoyed this mow than I should have

G&D virginity lost in Dorking Halls of all places #sextedlive

Sometimes, just sometimes I fucking love this country. What a time to be alive!

Oh fuck off, it's wednesday and an election has been announced #anyexcuse

I know I'm shit at maths, but someone needs to re-explain to me how percentagea work...

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary Annoyed I had to correct X to Twitter 🤷

Confused BBC News (UK) Did this incident happen last Tuesday or tomorrow?

If I have to hear another ice cream van at full volume today someone is getting hurt (possibly me)

I love this country reddit.com/r/CasualUK/s/u…

Chris Moles 🤔

Happy independence day to me! 3 years clear and happier than ever 😍