Me getting lunch at Trader Joe’s: “Can you please point me to the beverages section I need some Clorox”

After years of proud and honorable defiance, I finally relented: I joined TSA Precheck. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Days like today are why I will never leave Twitter. This hellsite might feel like rats running around a largely shuttered suburban shopping mall, but today is a reminder the Cinnabon is still open

Let’s be honest, Bluesky could never

For the terminally online, this is a day we’ll tell our grandkids about

Gouverneur Morris, Paris, 1793:

Update: I cannot believe how fast this is. Where are the blue shirts yelling at me about how I arranged my items in the bin?

About damn time.

Absolute game-changer

Good.

The #Tigers are the first team in the league to reach 50 wins! #RepDetroit

Was a four-mile run in the DC humidity my best idea? No. But at the end did I have a rediscovered sense of confidence in the human spirit and endurance? Also no. Pls send ice cream and junk food.