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something akin to forgiveness, found in her eyes.

I write about my life and It’s so painful and it’s all true.

Does your mom know that you're spiraling on the internet again?

Vicarious joy. Pass it on.

No worries Mom, I'll be fucking fine. I'm just at the sink washing my Ziplocs and reusing tinfoil like you and gramma fucking taught me

Like somehow if I communicate about any of it, then I’ll lose my ability to hold it all together.

You look like your mom told you to delete your account.

Waiting is such a chore..... Sometimes even when you know it's a done a deal but still you can't help torturing yourself until it actually is.

If you look closely, you’ll see that I never had it all together.

I’m just over here saving myself from myself. Mind your business.

I no longer know what a reasonable response is after a lifetime of being a parentified child. I always question myself on what I could do better... And that right there is just one of many fucked up dynamics!

For what it’s worth, I’m so very sorry if you can relate.

Pressing down and pressing it in.

Unreasonable expectations in love and family.

There is no sense of safety in this place.

It doesn’t help anyone for me to fall apart.

Always having to be the nice and reasonable one gets old after a while.

If I can’t be honest here most of all then I’m truly wasting my time.

I defended her to everyone, even to myself.

Things might be different if your mom had not been a psycho