My contract with my current employer expires this summer, and I have arranged a pre-contract agreement to sign for my local kebab house. That's right. I'm joining on a bossman.

Cody Gakpo makes David Ngog look like Pele

Way Todibo and Adama looked into the camera through my TV…i shat myself a lil

How Wirtz and Ekitike been moving week in, week out

For the next 5, 6, 7 years you build the team around Wirtz and Ekitike and we'll be sound.

Jeremy Jacquet sounds like someone Bob Mortimer would make up ffs

the roads in the UK are melting bro I’m not even joking

My boys spending Valentines with their girlfriends instead of day drinking with me

Nah the potholes in the UK are a joke man it’s like wreck it Ralph’s been let loose on our roads

TV Show idea: Britton's Got Tarrant. Fern Britton holds Chris Tarrant prisoner in a mystery location.

I have never seen a better executed order for the table in my life Down to the details: - napkin tuck for order - upping portion sizes in a blink - the Bao Bun execution - asking the server for recs - politeness and complete control of the room Wow.

Why can’t they just use the tax free money they’ve saved? Why should I as a British taxpayer help people who don’t want to pay any tax?

Lola Young winning Breakthrough Artist over EsDeeKid and Jim Legxacy is exactly what the problem with UK Music is.

So can someone plz address the pothole epidemic in the UK

championship clubs in tottenham stadium next season:

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

If you magically woke up today and watched this Liverpool team, you’d think Rio Ngumoha has been playing in the league for years. Shades of a young Sterling, can’t wait to see him grow

“To dare is to poo” has not left my head yet.

Me on Tuesday having backed 7 losers on the first day of Cheltenham