✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile
✨V✨

@coolauntv

writer, comedian, actress, astronaut • original content • for legal reasons this is a parody account

ID: 70603045

linkhttps://bsky.app/profile/coolauntv.bsky.social calendar_today01-09-2009 05:03:28

18,18K Tweet

11,11K Followers

1,1K Following

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

This mattress salesmen started off his pitch with an explanation that the brand was first designed for bedridden people in hospitals to prevent bed sores, and I was really impressed that he immediately perceived the lifestyle I’m looking for

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Once, in college, i walked past a church, right as sunday service let out, while wearing a tube dress and heels from the night before. and yet it still doesn’t feel as embarrassing as when I drag my garbage and recycling bins to the curb at 2am because i forgot pickup is tomorrow

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

my hobbies? in THIS economy? cooking from scratch, gardening from scraps, reading the books I already own, walking, selling all my things, etc.

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

once again thinking about the time i was in a store and they played Closing Time twice in a row and I still didn’t get it

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

don’t let people disparage you for choosing a bottle of wine based on the label. graphic design is important and you are a 𝓈𝓊𝓅𝓅𝑜𝓇𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓈

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

imo boomers don’t have as strong a grasp on how rife the internet is with fraudulent information/people because they’ve never been a tricky little lying 13-year-old, conning their way across the internet out of sheer boredom

Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Not really an overstatement to say that the test of a free society is whether or not comedians can make fun of the country's leader on TV without repurcussions.

✨V✨ (@coolauntv) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I refuse to believe people are still packing by flinging their negligées into an open hardshell suitcase on the bed, buckling it shut with clothes poking out the sides, and throwing it into the trunk of a taxi they called breathlessly from the corner payphone in 1955