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Yet another American political event where both sides unanimously agree “See we told you so”

I called my Robot guy at Old Glory insurance this morning and had him adjust my policy to account for pet eating immigrants. You can’t be too safe out there.

I’ve been trying to meet people where they are but finding I don’t have much range as a dumb person.

If you’re a republican and take a shot at someone and miss then sorry pal you are a Republican in name only.

Sure it’s democratic rhetoric not sending a mob to hang a guy that’s left him in the crosshairs

Where the free speech republicans when a guy who took action and sent a mob to hang a guy goes after the rhetoric of the other party?

Let’s get to the important stuff. Has anyone asked Tenacious D what they think this time?

What is the media hiding about what the other guy from Tenacious D thinks this time?

Tonight feels like it could be the end of an era. Does Kirk have one last Monday night disaster in him?

Tried to write an original Pete Rose joke but I lost that bet

Heartbreaking to think no matter how today’s vote goes Texas comedy will continue

Thank you Joe and Tony for making it safe for me to joke again.

I’ve been trying to find an angle all day but I don’t think I’m gonna be able to blame Hillary Clinton for this.

Don’t bother knocking on my door looking for the enemy within. Check the stage

Rough week. I miss the simplicity of a CEO taking a submersible to the Titanic

Should’ve known you can’t trust anyone in a post dollar menu McDonald’s

How do we find the balance between not glorifying vigilantism and not acknowledging the new high score

Not gonna catch me with a Doug Williams opinion on a Jamie Foxx special

Everybody wants to own the world until Donald Trump expects you to watch the ball drop with him

Dr. Frankenstein upset Frankenstein going after judicial branch reuters.com/legal/us-chief…