Government: You owe us money. It’s called taxes. Me: How much do I owe? Gov’t: You have to figure that out. Me: I just pay what I want? Gov’t: Oh, no we know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number too. Me: What if I get it wrong? Gov’t: You go to prison

How???

Can’t get over it

Starbucks 2/2 #starbucksdeadzone in Ukrainian Village redfin.com/blog/2016/01/r… …

Went hangliding today. Lindsay Hagen went first. I took 'I'm scared' selfies. We both survived!

@jjhirschle Brian Hagen minding that gap is no joke

Well this is a first. A drunk/fighting couple was just kicked off my flight for disorderly conduct. It's 10AM on a Tuesday.

Caused a scene about whether or not they had to put their dog away. 'It's for emotional support' she said 50 times. 'I have PAPERS!'

Dog roamed free as double vodkas were ordered and finished while loudly arguing about headphones. Everyone around very uncomfortable.

Man gets up and rooting through his bag in the aisle after we'd pulled away from gate. Pilot comes out. Things get real. Police are called.

Pilot = Total Boss. Not having this guy's protests to stay. Guy making insane/nonsense claims & excuses. Pilot is calm. Firm. Guy exits.

He's off.She's staying.She threatens woman behind her she thinks is starting something. 'I'll smash your face'. Makes racist remark loudly.

She pours drinks all over the seats in show of protest. Now she's asked to leave.

As she packs he things she says/screams 'you know what the best part about being a billionaire is? EVERYTHING!' -- can't make this stuff up.

Amazing elderly woman/hero behind me responds 'money can't buy class' -- nails it.

On our way. Safely. Comfortably. Only 30 min delay. Thank you americanair for looking out for your passengers.

End tweet storm.

Hey americanair, check out Alaska Airlines (amazing) new benefit 4 working parents. Would you consider a similar policy? blog.alaskaair.com/alaska-airline…

Sad that in 2017 americanair has no policy for working moms on Mat Leave. Take note from Alaska Airlines and support women biz travelers

She can't talk- so we don't know for sure- but I'm pretty sure Hannah likes her new swing.