ICE agent at a workplace raid: “you guys understand we have a signed warrant to be here” Worker: “And here’s my bag of f*cks”

SO THE SHOOTER IMPERSONATED A POLICE OFFICER, KILLED TWO DEMOCRATS, HAD A HIT LIST FULL OF OTHER HIGHER-PROFILE DEMOCRATS — INCLUDING TIM WALZ — AND WAS ALSO PLANNING TO TARGET ABORTION PROVIDERS AND PRO-CHOICE ADVOCATES... AND YOU WANT US TO BELIEVE HE WAS PRO-DEMOCRAT???

Happy #FathersDay to all the great dads and to the ones that remain in our hearts and memories. ✨ "Would a minute have mattered? No, probably not, although his young son appeared to have a very accurate internal clock. Possibly even two minutes would be okay. Three minutes,

Nothing could have prepared me for this video

I love that the serving size of Pam is a unit of time

my brother just sprinted into my room yelling OPEN GOOGLE TRANSLATE and typed this in and i just cant believe it's real

I'd like to thank the executive class for underpaying movie theater staff cause not once in the past 5 years have I ever been stopped from bringing outside food into their establishments

Me comforting my friends who are expressing anxiety about the present and future.

biology is so weird, you take water and dry cat food and that's all you need to make a basically endless amount of cat. Eyes, claws, fur, skin, organs, blood, all made from water and dry cat food

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In my mind, it made sense to draw Jesus comforting Lucifer, to slice a piece off his own cloak to stop the bleeding. Two divine beings made to roam the earth. It can’t be blasphemy to draw him kind…

zohran mamdani is going to use billionaire taxes to build the shawarmachine

a new yorker reject, for my birthday