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Oop 💀 Brittany stays whacking Jax!

pretty funny how far boomers had a stick up their ass about weed and now they’re all ripped on gummies 24/7

Replacing “I’m going to kill myself” in my vocabulary with “Oh dear”

It's been a privilege bumpin that with you tonight

“Thirteen year old me would think I’m really cool.” Okay, well thirteen year old me would look at me and be like what the fuck happened, you fat loser????

HE IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH HIS EX

seeing my girl lost in a corn maze would give me the ick. my wife would never get befuddled by grain

this classic

my fiancée is watching rhony for the first time and she looked at me and said “is this a safe space to say I see what dorinda sees in john”

Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening

“It’s called NIGHTBITCH, Lemon. Amy Adams plays a mother who turns into a dog at night. It’s the first film in the BCU, the Bitch Cinematic Universe with all the movies loosely based on Meredith Brooks’ 1997 Billboard No. 2 single ‘Bitch.’ In some cases, *very* loosely based.”

me after hitting the pen

junior and senior year of college

is there a pulitzer for tweets

and these are the solutions that work!

and here we see a man who didn’t take his adderall

Hey babe are you doing okay? I noticed you haven’t been releasing your inhibitions and feeling the rain on your skin….

Cannot stop thinking about the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio’s girlfriend was born a year AFTER the Titanic came out

Good GOD