“God is a 6 yo covered in syrup and I am the ipad he is holding”

this twitter update is triggering me. i hate looking at all these numbers and that little graph thing i feel like an accountant

The American Girl Doll Hospital does not accept Medicare or Medicaid.

tory goin upstate, kevin samuels died on the toilet, dababy can’t sell out a chuck e. cheese, been a rough year for annoying dudes

sam’s glow up has me considering prison

what do u think he’s thinking about

one thing i know how to do is turn $1500 into $6.38

they had gluten free body of christ at mass today

Yep that’s a DTC beverage brand. 40% gross margins, $14 shipping cost, $36 AOV, $55 CAC, raised a $3mm seed from a VC, burning $500k/mo. Should go under in 6 months.

cozzie livs

duck duck (silly) goose

When you die, nobody is going to say "wow, he / she was SOO good at spreadsheets." Start living your life and focus on the things that actually matter.

when it’s dark outside by 5pm

Death Directs the Bullet, by Hans Larwin, 1917

i love it when my pets sigh like what ails you my little unemployed freeloader

Women: this is your reminder to have zero imposter syndrome. Not saying what Rick is saying is wrong, just saying you’re right.

Always this. It’s the seriousness mixing right into the glee *whilst* holding his own Oscar. He saw the opp and he took it.