Uber on its side now 02:30 Lee high road

Uberk

Sometimes their app crashes when we all try and load it at once. The power of a community really 😂

Met the Modfather yesterday - what a lovely bloke See you at Hammersmith 8th November 👍 Legend Paul Weller

If enough cabs turn up I'm gonna jump into the serpentine (I will do it)

Anyone who can get round Hyde park cnr twice in the next ten mins I'll give em a £50 note

I've been diverted off now great turn out well done again ucg

My wife was trying to be sexy last night. She lay on the bed sucking a lollipop, then she started slowly

sliding it in and out of her pussy. I said "Steady love, you'll need that to see the kids across the road in the morning."

vicar is showing his son how to wank. The son says 'this is great dad!' the vicar replies 'wait till your 13 then you can use your own cock!

Olympic BMW driver 'mate u know where Marriott gros square is' sorry never heard of it (f off)

Just been watching Olympic Ladies Beach Volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury. . . But I should be OK by tomorrow .

@angrylondoncab lol

@angrylondoncab yeh I can see why fpmsl

That u erb marb arch ??? Mg sticker

lockerz.com/s/250305335

lockerz.com/s/256253729

Tony Blackburn was invited to a pool party. He turned up with Jimmy savile and Gary glitter.

The fella who's party it was said " you deaf cunt I said bring a pair of speedos !!" =D x

My pal overdosed on curry powder. He's been in a KORMA for two weeks .