So, Verizon punished an employee for rescuing a cat off a telephone pole. Shame on you Verizon. #verizon #cats

When they write the play about Trump's presidency, it's going to be a tragi-comedy in more than four acts.

I have to admit, I like the Vampire Girls. youtube.com/watch?v=ZPHuZ_…

No one can walk as confidently in the wrong direction as an American.

I'm time traveling into the future at the rate of sixty minutes per hour.

The twitterverse is full of reactionary prudes. More than I would have predicted. My blocking finger is tired.

Pro Tip: You can't put a dead cat in front of the TV sensor and expect the remote control to work. #TV #clutter #remotecontrol

Pro Tip: You can't put a dead cat in front of the TV sensor and expect the remote control to work.

Jamaica's second most popular natural resource. #gracejones #jamaica #parklife dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/arti…

Because he has a broomstick up his ass.

“Rust may never sleep, but then, neither does moss.” ― Brian Awehali

I remember the Internet before the World Wide Web. I remember Pine and Gopher.

I knew a 'possum that lived in a Austin-Healey 3000 awaiting restoration. He'd go from the Healey to the trashcan and back again.

The Pagans called. They want their religious symbol back.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020, I was in the food aisle of Dollar Tree store #6469, 7041 Brookville Plaza, Springfield, Virginia, when I observed an older man with a pit bull mix dog on a leash. The dog was actively sniffing and licking the cookie boxes. It was #disgusting. #DollarTree

Instacart delivered Aldi groceries to my elderly mom. The picker/delivery person violated CDC distance guidelines, my instructions and wasn’t wearing a mask! Instacart tried to wiggle out of it with, “They’re contractors. We have no control over them.” 😡 #aldi #instacart

Well, they'll float better when the oceans rise. x.com/TheEconomist/s…

Thanks Putin, for buying American! x.com/AFP/status/960…

If she wants me to read her shirt, she'd better cover those titties up. x.com/CassandraRules…