A true broski will always hold back his bros man bun when he's puking in the toilet.

I wonder if trees gossip about each other, and if they do, who’s the most poplar?

Whenever I write the word “penis” I dot the i with a smaller penis.

CHILF - Crack Head I'd Like to Fuck

praise jesus christ for the ability to sin

do you believe in life after cunt?

i was told to be clean shaven before a job interview. this guy didn’t even attempt to look at my dick.

Taking a piss in a urinal with sandals on.

I turn Kleenex into moist towelettes.

Once I stick my penis in you, you’re fucked.

“Brace yourself!” - Orthodontist who’s sick and tired of his job.

even demons still get punished

Polysyllabic is my favorite polysyllabic word.

even daffodils have bad hair days

when it comes to sleep i need 8 hours a day. and another 8 at night.

I can tie a tie, but I can also tie a Ty in a tie tying competition.

I cut my testicle bag shaving and had to wear a maxi pad before I went out. It was actually quite comfortable, like a pillow for my balls.

Malapropisms give me a massive election.

follow my cat instagram.com/quillsifer

ignorance is fist