My wife and children will NEVER hear about my #NattyStories

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On behalf of Southwest Airlines, I want a sandwich.

Find out why Evangelical Christians are saying #Starbucks hates Jesus HERE! goo.gl/lhgYyi

"Stone Cold" Malcom Gladwell. Eccentric writer/professional wrestler that smashes Miller Lite cans over a Restoration Hardware coffee table

The absence of the Virgin Mary denying climate change on the #StarbucksRedCup is proof that Jesus enjoys lemon pound cake

There's a company that sells razors online and if you buy one, someone goes to Gillette corporate and gives their bathroom an "upper decker"

I got this body the old fashioned way: alcohol and Jamaican beef patties.

Saw the new indie flick #StarWarsTheForceAwakens and loved it. There's a character that pays homage to US women's soccer goalie Hope Solo

Whoever came up with #YallQaeda and #YeeHawdists--you are welcome in my house.

Every #SuperBowlSunday I'm reminded that there's people that still eat Doritos.

There goes my idea to name my semi-pro racquetball stadium after Trump University. #GOPDebate Phoenix university is still around right?

There's this new coffee shop in Brooklyn that makes clearly racist lattes that includes Pokemon foam art

It would be great if Lester Holt went into Dateline mode and introduced Keith Morrison as the guest moderator #Debates2016 #debatenight

NYC hipsters look like post-Civil War southern aristocratic highbrow attending a cotton guild ballroom dance at the Biltmore in NC

I've come to believe the Rescue Bots theme song is a Lost Buckcherry B-side track circa 1999

The guy from the UNTUCKit commercial is the Elon Musk of first world problems

First rule about United Mileage Plus Club. YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT UNITED MILEAGE PLUS CLUB.

Syracuse just went on one hell of a run Brent Axe NunesMagician.com