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Being an idiot and putting $1,000 on red and winning was a lot of girl screams

I partied with Mexicans tonight and if I never do that again I’ll be okay lol

Anybody wanna go to California in two weeks? I’ll buy all the food and alcohol

No, but thank you

Really looking forward to the most stress I’ve had as an adult the next 2 months of my life

Rare soft tweet. I deal with a lot of anxiety and I have a hard time talking to girls. I don’t know what to say and I’m scared of rejection so I just don’t go up and talk to them. It sucks. So here’s a couple tips that have really helped me overcome that anxiety

1. Drink 7 beers

I was so bored last night that I watched every snap of a girls bachelorette party on her story

6 years ago today, Mac Miller had one of the greatest tiny desk concerts ever

What a beautiful day

Sara Gonzales My wife Kylie says this often. Embarrassing her is one of the great joys in my life.

Mike stud at ACL was crazzzyy

Random tweet, but it amazes me how horrible some people’s golf swings look. I mostly mean people who have previous athletic experience. Why do yall look like you’ve never done an athletic thing in your life?

life peaked when i was 5 and saw the scene in Bug's Life where the waitress bug asks "who ordered the poo poo platter?" and laughed harder than I ever have in my life