i cant breath

How is there not a website that sells sex toys and targets gay men called “Adam & Steve??”

#balloon #china #shooting

“Christianity was the fidget spinner of Medieval Times.” 😂😂😂 Cunk on Earth is a RIOT

Took a while, but this is what we were waiting for.

I’m counting UFOs, they shoot at them with jet fighters, and in this moment I am shitting…shitting. I’mmmmmm shitting my pants. 🎶

What in the Chris D’elia do you have to be typing into your phone to get “Sex” to auto-correct in ALL CAPS?!

There isn’t a person alive talking negatively about Chris Rock right now that is even close to being as funny as that man.

Now this is a live-action remake release date I can get excited about!

If I refuse to talk on the phone with you it’s because you interrupt too much and texting is more efficient.

Guys I’ve been completely outta the loop on the “Hasbulla” guy. He’s 20?! I would have done the same thing Tyson did lol.

Hot take: If you stand directly behind the plate it makes it easier to decide whether the ball is or isn’t directly over it.

So do I, that doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen. Mostly because it would take some time to have the first 12.

Narcissism. Your handicap is narcissism.

I know the parents are sad, but I can’t imagine a situation where I wouldn’t lose my shit on the president during a phone call like that regardless of party.

If I did all this and my lady looked as disappointed as this woman does I would never post this video. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!

You’ll just have to trutht them.

You were so fuckin excited that they were there to see you.

I don’t do the Twitter thing much. But, life update:

At Waffle House and I heard the server say “I need a new job,” and then the cook aggressively flipped the knife hibachi style to cut the grilled cheese. What’s higher than 5 stars?