I'm generally not good at things, but damn can I fold a fitted sheet💪🏼

I love when people try to burn me. Like, sorry, I've already lit myself on fire. 🔥

I'm playing this fun game where if I want to put off HW, I have to go to the gym. I'm either going to be really smart or shredded. Or die.

Raise ur hand if u have no idea what ur doing 🙋🏻

I will take one John Krasinski please and thank you.

Fave part of wearing almost exclusively men's clothing on campus: watching boys' egos crumble when they realize they're twinning with a lady

my longest standing relationship to date is the one I have with Papa John's

The older and awkwarder I get, the more I understand turtles hiding in their shells. Just like, "nahhhhhh. I'm gonna sit this one out."

Every week I tell myself that I'm going to go to all of my classes and every week I do not make it to all of my classes.

Why buy one new pair of sneakers when you can buy 3 new pairs and then starve for the rest of the month?

I wonder if my TA would let me reschedule a test because I spent time learning how to put on a kilt instead of learning muscle innervations

The worst part of failing is only having yourself to blame and being vulnerable enough to admit that truth

Aldulting is eating ritz and spinach dip in bed while getting wine drunk on not one, but both weekend nights.

Sentences sound so eloquent in my brain, but then I say them aloud and it sounds like I've had a small stroke.