Off to Ronnie Scott’s tonight. Don’t think I actually like jazz (please don’t hate me)

Off to find Ted Lasso in a bit with our part-greyhound.

In The Cricketers

More than 93,000 steps since Thursday afternoon. Dog is shattered

Better think about getting my fat arse back to the gym

dominic dyer Battersea Dogs Trust 💛🐶 RSPCA Public Affairs Humane World for Animals UK FOUR PAWS UK #PETITION 🔴Introduce Licensing and Regulation for Dog and Cat Rescues to Protect Welfare petition.parliament.uk/petitions/7186…

The first from my school year group has reached the age I’m not ready to be. Shit is getting real 😟

Will add this is kind of tongue-in-cheek. I realise ageing is a privilege.

Anyone else’s grass gone wild since the rain?

Please retweet to help find the owner or new home for this abandoned dog #BLACKPOOL #LANCASHIRE #UK FOUND TIED TO A BIN!!! So sad 💔 Now at sundown kennels, Sat 6 Sept 25 Dog found tied to a bin in FY1 Blackpool along with a bag with food dishes in. Chip details not up to date.

Ooh, what’s everyone wearing for the phone alert test in a few minutes? Looking forward to the post-test Twitter check-in

It worked this time

Right: MAFSAU 12 done. I hope the experts also gave Adrian a going over in the end! Now onto The Jury - let’s see what I might be in for soon 😣

Why go for a walk in the rain when you can stay warm and dry on “your” princess bed!

From this to this: fuming lads

Found a tiny baby snail in our hallway. Didn’t want to pick him up by the shell in case I squished it, so attached him to my finger and moved him outside. He pooped on me!! Not sure whether that’s a sign of gratitude 🤔

Went to a pole practice session tonight - other than a few minutes here and there on mine to test my back, I’ve not been able to do anything for 5 months - but I can still do pretty much everything I wanted to. I’m so happy. 😀

Can the mothership now beam us back to 1999 please? The 21st century experiment has been fun, but I liked it more back then 😬