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Southwest could have just sent an email saying “we choose to be mid” and saved everyone some time.

We really survived the era of no hand sanitizer. Just a raw immune system of licking our fingers to turn pages.

Every millennial has a traumatic story about downloading a song from Napster only to get some dude yelling “ NEW EXCLUSIVE!” halfway through.

Nothing builds character like having to burn a whole CD just for one song. You had to really commit to your bad taste in music.

Remember when we had to memorize phone numbers? If I get arrested today, my one call would be JG Wentworth.

Aging is realizing naps weren’t a punishment—they were a luxury.

We used to ride our bikes for miles with no phone, no GPS, and no clue where we were going. That was childhood, or as it’s known today, "a missing person case."

Getting older is feeling genuine joy over a front-row parking spot, an uninterrupted nap, and the sweet relief of canceled plans.

RIP Big George Forman #Champ

I’ve gone from sneaking out of the house to go to parties to sneaking out of parties to go home. SMDH 😒

Ladies. Did you rock the pink foam back in the day?

April Fools! Y’all remember prank calls?

I still yell, 'It’s the 90s!' when I accuse people of being behind the times.

In the 80s, they used eggs to keep us off of drugs. Now, I have to sell drugs to buy eggs.

I've gone from yelling 'Turn UP! to " Can somebody Turn that sh*t down!?"

Somewhere there’s a parent in a third world country saying “you better finished them eggs. There’s kids in America…”

Me: I’m young at heart. Also me: Can’t eat after 8pm, can’t hear in bars, and can’t trust a fart.

My friend told me how much they pay for their kids to attend camp. I'm like, what are they learning, surgery?

I've gone from wanting to get laid to just wanting to lie down.

Congratulations to Coco “Go Off” Gauff on WINNING the French Open fair and square.