What if Shearer turned up one week with a full head of hair and refused to admit he used to be bald. Is there a plan in place for that?

Outrageous switching of MUFC fixtures yet again, with more matches shifted to Monday night. There's ONE MUFC home game on a weekend in 12 weeks - and that may go even longer if late Dec games are shifted.

Sensational. Every week.

I cannot believe I even have to clarify this, it is ridiculous. Genuinely ridiculous. But no, I do not touch myself to James Maddison videos. The screenshot you are seeing is fabricated. Please stop believing it.

Between 5th October and Boxing Day Manchester United will play just one match at Old Trafford on a weekend. Absurd. #MUFC

Still cant believe that. Thursday-Monday-Monday, following 1 home match in 52 days. Get in the fucking bin Premier League 🚮

Nobody has ever seen a good firework, they're all shite.

Refuse to watch unless Big John’s walk on is played prior to every one of his matches.

Properly sad about Noble, the greatest ref of all time😔

Funny

Spent the whole season thinking we'd get some sort of extra international qualifier as the "TBC" one and guess what? A FIFTH tourcard qualifier. God dammit man At least it wasn't the mooted "influencer qualifier" which would have killed me inside

Are the stunning set of darts in the room with us?

Westminster Voting Intention: RFM: 32% (=) CON: 17% (=) LAB: 15% (-2) GRN: 15% (=) LDM: 12% (=) SNP: 3% (=) Via Find Out Now, 15 Oct. Changes w/ 8 Oct.

Springsteen must think every kebab shop guy is a massive fan

Respect tbh.