if fortnite doesn’t update on my phone soon i’m cutting this camping trip short to play season 5

also, if someone offers u a mozzarella stick and u turn it down, ur a narc

I tried this and now I’m at Denny’s with her and the guy she had sex with last night

XXXTENTACION FT LIL PUMP RT IF U WANT DIS 🦅

being handsome is not dope u have to be ugly to have #swag everyone knows this

Anyone else get PTSD from a name? Like you see someone’s name and it makes you cringe every time you read it. Like they ruined the whole human race of everyone with that name. I don’t know if that made any sense, but yeah I got that

I just found out I have a FUNKY WHITE SISTER😳😩😂🤣 forreal doe😂🤣& she brought her home girl with her from da hood that keep tip toeing in the background with a plate of food🤣 yo I’m done!😂 but she straight killed “Work It” sound effects & all🙌🏾 I love it🔥🙌🏾

never googling myself ever again lol. got called a walking STD and a human sir bubble by 2 different publications. deleted safari after lol. if anyone is having a tough time keep rocking guys. never let anybody tell you shit. you are awesome.

at the gym i said subscription instead of membership and the girl replied with 'lol this isnt a pharmacy'. bitch thats a prescription were both stupid

Boy in the pub was telling me his job is a penguin erector so every time a plane flys over Edinburgh zoo the penguins can’t take their eyes off it and end up falling over n he just goes round picking them back up, 38 penguins 2000 flights a day

Every white guy who wore a white suit to prom has a dui now.

U tweakin tweakin

i call him Juulian Edelman becuse u dont want that smoke

Reporting for duty. #TorontoElections