gave my gf the ick by wearing the eclipse glasses

that was me, sat down too fast, sorry guys

as a gentleman, i always refer to booby traps as breast traps

“this is my 3rd high end toilet” and “Scary” are sending me to the afterlife

about once every 4 months i get hungry and convince myself there’s no way chipotle can just be permanently bad now and i’m wrong every time

a real and frankly alarming 911 call

the bug looking at me through my windshield as i drive it to its new life 3 miles away from its home

probably fine!

most practiced mugshot of all time right

just realized a huge number of new gen z Sopranos viewers probably have no idea why AJ asked this question

(dumps piss into a cake batter and the cake tastes like piss) the sad truth is there are no great “cakes” right now

ants are dumb as shit

15 hwhat

Did you ever see this in your Uber!?

probably fine!

imagine cheating on your significant other and fucking CNN drops a story on it