I just heard someone call the bible "the goat herder's guide to the galaxy" and i thought y'all would appreciate that.

Does anyone know of a good website where I can get a shirt and then also two emails every day for the rest of my life?

Been feeling a little moody and run down lately. So I looked up my symptoms. It's adulthood. I have adulthood.

🎵🎵 does whatever I spider can 🎵🎵

We all need a hobby.

At the turn of the next century: Grandad, look, I found these handwritten diaries talking about life in a regime where free speech was banned. Are these the Anne Frank diaries? No my lad, they’re my diaries from the Starmer Reich.

Starmer has announced a retrospective prosecution... Of Grenfell Tower, for smoking outdoors.

Elon Musk is the most successful African-American

I challenged the best paralympic wheelchair athlete to a race I was much quicker in a car.

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Why won't the Paralympics ever be hosted in Liverpool? Because you can't race wheelchairs on bricks

Interesting fact: t-shirt is actually short for "Tyrannosaurus Shirt" Because of the short arms.

I remember the Grenfell fire very well, I was at my desk, it was quiet and eerie. Fucking love working at the benefits claim office.

Your favourite Oasis song tells a lot about you. For example, if you have a favourite Oasis song you probably have bad taste in music.

If I lived everyday like it was my last, the body count would be fucking staggering.

I haven't lost my mind... half of it just wandered off, and the other half went looking for it.

follow me for more work tips

I don't think that's an iPhone

Share the recognition

Name the singer. Bonus points for the year.