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the lesbian daughter or, as i like to say it, the man of the house

me after “helping” my dad change the oil and oil filter in my car where all he let me do was mop up oil and unpack the new oil filter 👍

zweihander my beloved

can we pretend the shooting stars in the night sky are credit cards

minute 4 no wife i’m being really brave about it

wifepoasting will continue for the foreseeable future

im like if a dog had separation anxiety highkey

I am sorry I liked that picture of your ass, I promise I like your thoughts and opinions too

hour 6 no wife im washing dishes by hand and am ignoring the dishwasher bc “i just wanna feel smthn man”

my mom said she can pack the bowl if ur mom takes the first hit

If you're pro incest then I think you're pretty cool, in fact you're probably like a sister to me

wife gone away for four months that’s like 5 years in gay dog time

Can my oc and your oc play with touys together...

uber driver has like abc classical on or smthn and merry-go round of life just came on n we looked at eachother in the mirror n we’re both just like “nice”

it’s pissing down outside too is that what the girl from the lofi hip hop beats to relax and study to felt like

i think i accidentally hit someone’s penjamin over the weekend i didn’t know it was a weed pen im a sobercuck anyway that weed shit is crazy bc i coughed my shit up n then started telling my friends how beautiful they all are. so no difference really