If wasp spray is supposed to be compared to pepper spray, why aren’t there travel size bottles I can buy? Can’t really carry a 17 oz bottle around casually with me

I think that the cell service outage and Charlotte the stingray are absolutely related

me waiting for the bartender to look at me so i can order my drink

I hate being friends with eagles fans

eggrolls

Can’t remember if I took my vyvanse when I woke up so I just took another to be safe so all day I guess I’ll be going back and forth on is this a regular day or have I doubled up

I’ve seen the tiktoks and I have to say I find it more insulting that Taylor swifts cats net worth is only $3million less than Mariska Hargitay…

how do I submit this tik tok to the academy for consideration #vpr

pumpkin spice is temporary, baja blast is forever

My friends are having children; I am having Chili's

A frog that ate a firefly

Am I wrong is that I’ve always assumed a bereavement flight was actually a discount? How is Delta only 10%? And I was told today the flight I got was cheaper than the bereavement offering? Make it make sense

If these noodles don’t save me from this hangover I don’t know what will 💀

My vyvanse is hitting. I’m giving likes away at rapid speed

Money never feels more made up than when you’re calling a car at the airport. $64 then $105 then settling at $83. Fuck it take it my money and get me home

Today is truly a sad representation of if you don’t buy it you can’t eat it. I needed a ramen breakfast pick me up and had to settle for eggs 💔

Hell yes. Walking pad has been delivered since I’m WFH 3 days a week now. Maybe this will finally be the step (see what I did there) to get me walking more 😂😂😂😂😂

I am not proud of this but I did start tonight’s episode of #VanderpumpRules off with a Xanax and felt connected to tom schwartz in a way I haven’t in a few seasons

I need the Twitter world to know Ainsley Creamer and I will be reunited in Florida tomorrow and it’s about to get weird ✨ I plan on being blacked out in 24 short hours 💕