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In this world you either crank that soulja boy or it cranks you

Accomplishment of the day: Got close enough to the spelling of pterodactyl that iPhone suggested an accurate auto-correct 🤗 #whycantyouhearapterodactylinthebathroom

RIP to the four emails I’ve accidentally sent to the Trash folder thanks to the new iOS update 😅

Baby Yoda!!

Quarantine Day 23082: I've realized how useful my elbows are. Thank you elbows, for getting me through today.

Also. VenMo is a cute place to be these days. People sending each other monies for a coffee pick me up, or a home delivery. Cute cute.

How I know Jesus loves me: At the craziest the world has ever been, I am in still in a position where I 1) will not go hungry 2) have access to amazing food 3) and can still feed people. #foodismylovelanguage #blessed #24cLife

Also after tweeting that I ate Costco pizza. #keepitreal

Truth hurts

I can’t imagine Jesus waving an American flag any more than I can imagine him wearing a “God bless Rome” shirt. Patriotism is too small. Our Bible doesn’t say “For God so loved America”... it says “For God so loved the world.” America First is a theological heresy.

Kanye, read the room. We are TIRED.

Strong night-before-Helm’s-Deep vibes today.

God Dear America, Don’t f*ck this up. 🙏 Your friends, 🇨🇦 Canada 🇨🇦

Can't wait for Greta Thunberg to finish her training with the Faceless Men so she can finally kill the Night King.

I’m so full and also still want snacks. - Carizza Rose, 31 years old always hungry (even when she’s full)

The only thing better than Thai food is leftover Thai food.