🔥Telegram İfşa

His daughter locked me in a locker when I was 4 years old and I was stuck in there for hours.

Where the fuck is Ted Bundy’s cousin when you need him.

Reading infinite jest and throwing my hands in the air like well I’ll be damned this shit is good

Thinking about my book (infinite jest) while watching my movie (the big short)

Why did god make winter

Cannot wait to go home and interrogate the magic 8 ball. I’ll be bad cop; you can be good cop.

My mom used to have us write Christmas lists and then we would light them on fire in the backyard on Saint Nicholas Eve.

Everyone is so quick to forget I was a chocolatier professionally straight out of college

I need to get the fuck out of nyc in the next 3 hours and I need to buy a 10”x10” canvas and I need to talk to my magic 8 ball and consult it about moving forward

If I was a football player in my little intro I’d say my name and then instead of my alma mater I’d say go birds no matter who I was playing for but I guess I’m just built different

AGHHHHH AGHHHHHHHH 🔨🛠️⚒️🪨AGHHHHHH 💥💣🧨 AGGHHHHHHHHH🌋🌋🌋🌋🔫

So fucking insane to get outrageously angry at work but my job is making goddamn flags for a living??????

Love to see a gay boy play with iPhone camera exposure settings at a concert

Bringing incredibly huge bitch vibes to the flag factory

GAY BOYS BEING BITCHY IN THE AIRPORT YAYYYYYYY

Palm Springs with girlfriend’s dad’s girlfriend’s family for thanksgiving as the random bitch from Philadelphia who’s testing the waters a little bit. They’re not rly familiar with my lexicon it seems.

I would never drive a car

This beer is tasting like I wish I could text tom Brady and remind him how much I hate him

What’s in my bag? TRASH

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM