NB: they need the trainers to stand up without over balancing BC those hydrangea are HEAVY

A strong look here from “The Pickle Sisters”

Kids of today, robbed of the degauss button.

Housekeeping Announcement. Please ensure the front door is locked, pets are secured and children accounted for. No wasps. All spoons to be returned to the kitchen. These rules are here for the safety, security and happiness of us all. Thank you for your attention.

Set myself the challenge of painting abstract using only primary colours, black and white. This is the result 🔴🟡🔵⚫️⚪️

#shagmycakes

Years ago my two eldest daughters had a school dress up day for St Patricks, they had to go either in Irelands flag colours or something Irish Themed, I dressed them as Jedward and gelled up their hair. A teacher had to leave the room from laughing and my eldest cried about it😂

A bloke just laughed at me shouting “NO WEES NO CHEESE” at the dog in the garden, so now I’ve got to change my identity and move house

Any given Caravaggio Extraordinary

Any of you folks with your own business or a good one you work for fancy sponsoring a kids football team who will play in the Coventry and Warwickshire Youth League?

Your cat is fully charged, please handle with care

Saw a bloke on the tube at 7.30am peel the cover off a Sainsbury's trifle. People were watching, interested to see how he'd approach it. He got a large Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut bar out of his pocket, unwrapped it, then used it as a spoon to eat the trifle. Sensational viewing

I wish this was smellovision

Laziest fight ever.. 😅

Normally get a bit of a sales spike around the end of a month when a lot of folk get paid. This time, though - nothing. Zip. Zero. El zilcho. The square root of fuck-all Anyway, there's up to 40% off today in my shop, so feel free to have a poke about: tinyurl.com/DPADShop

I’ve never felt so disheartened. My small business means everything to me and I want to keep going. Please have a look at my website. Buy things, commission me or retweet. gailmyerscough.co.uk Thank you.

Happy *checks notes* 35th birthday, Arthur Arthur from Wales & all who sail in her