IM SICK OF MUCSLE MILK WEN WILL WE GET TIT MILK

My own girlfriend just accidentally called me MY DOGS NAME in conversation……….

2 Celsius and 2 Zyn is peak work performance mode

Nice lmao

I hope more p*liticians get sh*t

Two for flinching, pussy

Whatever can happen, will happen

I’ll vote for the first president that looks me in the eyes like a man and tells me to get fucked

Hey people that order egg whites at breakfast restaurants: no one fucking likes you

If i was unbelievably rich I’d go to a bar and tip a million dollars

I love unfollowing someone on IG and they end up not following me back. No harm no foul big dawg I’ll see ya around

I love my gf

Name a better friend group

I know I’m in my thirties because nothing excites me more than the thought of sitting on my couch and drinking nine diet cokes

Just bought an 8th for $7. I love legal marijuana

Had Trackstar at The Biscuit Joint this morning #STL

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the original multiverse

This is probably my last tweet on this shithole app but i am so obsessed with red dead redemption and westerns and being a cowboy i could not give a fuck about anything else okay goodbye

What’s up what did i miss I have nothing to say except that i am so jaded and old man coded that it makes me mad seeing my 21 year old employee having fun when they have to work in the morning like i didn’t do that for 10 years straight