Just remembered my cat doesn’t know shit about shit. Not even 2+2. Never conceptualized bigotry in her mind even once. God she slays

why can’t u ask people how much money they make. i want to know

what flavors are they

when i send him a selfie and he doesn’t respond with a paragraph about my beauty

Found my new least favorite thing on marketplace for only $100 wow what a deal

This Saturday was spent mostly drunk but one of my main memories from it is one (1) of my friends (can’t remember who) telling me I reminded them of Mr. Clean and then not elaborating further

So it turns out you can either complain about being nauseous OR have funnel cake for dinner but nobody is sympathetic if you do both.