If they posted up at Safeway today, I’m going to spend $100 on Girl Scout cookies.

Air Bud > Air Pods

How can i get a date with the girl from spy kids 3D who wasn’t real?

Still waiting on my Soulja Pods to arrive. Soulja Boy (Draco)

My new hair makes me feel like I should be preparing to go to Coachella.

Someone needs to host a costume party soon.

Almost every old celebrity is 58 years old

I want to become a household name by acting in infomercials.

Ever want a weird day... Take night time medicine at 9am. Then go about your normal day.

Anti-Vaxxers been real quiet recently.

At this rate... Sonic the Hedgehog has a good chance of being an Oscar Nominated Movie.

What’s Bobby Brackins up to?

Made more from residuals than I have from the government.

#paradoxes

Patiently waiting to be nominated for the ice bucket challenge.

Slack needs an end of year wrapped. I want to see what all my coworkers are up to.

I'm very excited about the writing of the script for my new film. My creativity and imagination are really flowing. Near completion !! On schedule .....