i plan on running for president when i’m 91 and not one second earlier. hope thats ok with everyone

pov ur the teeny tiny potatoes at trader joe’s and im gonna take u home with me

how it feels to call something derivative

i went offline for 3 days and did an amount of introspection that should genuinely be criminalized

(me when i hear “lets go on an easy bike ride”) lets go on an easy bike ride (dads when they hear “lets go on an easy bike ride”) lets go on a hard and scary bike ride

my friends were mostly in it for the dance dance. but me? i was in it for the revolution

i literally forgot that biden is still the president

JUST ANNOUNCED! NEWCOMERS: An Evening of Bell House Debuts returns on Sunday, November 3rd! Featuring sets by sila puhl Keegan Tindall Faris Hytiaa Ash Diggs shaunak godkhindi meredith 🍉 Kelly Bachman tommy brennan + MORE! Tickets on sale now: tinyurl.com/mr39j2kz

SHES CAPTURING GIRLS IN BUSHWICK AND GIVING THEM PATCHWORK TATTOOS

moving from brooklyn to berlin because i am sick of dating djs and want to date more djs

this is true for me as well

i hate when i get broken up with and my friends are like “dont worry he was ugly” . Ok .. do not tell me the Fruit is rotten after i have already Eaten Of It

timothee chalamet is balding soft launch

getting mad that a white boy is annoying in an improv class is like getting mad at a snake for shedding its skin…or at a caterpillar for becoming a butterfly….

(eric adams voice) this cell is the new york of this prison

THIS WEDNESDAY The most EXTREME comedy show to ever take place in Bushwick is back, and this time, it’s personal! See a hard hitting lineup of the greatest heavyweight comedians this city has to offer including Josh Gondelman shaunak godkhindi sila puhl Ari Kaplan(Leftist Memes) and more!

i go to the gym 6 days a week eat 220g of protein a day and run 4 times a week so i can play toys harder