Just saw Cocaine Bear, and surprisingly found myself rooting for the cocaine

Turns out the Cocaine was inside the Bear the whole time. #plottwist

Don’t forget to talk about clocks for the next four days. #SpringForward

EXTREMELY Dickinson is more like it #FDU

Michael HipHoppaport

Oscar Mayer Slammables, the bologna snack you inject for maximum effect

Damn, U. S. college hockey has come a long way over the years. What a game. #NCAAFrozenFour

Where does it end?

Playoff. Basketball. #NBAPlayoffs

MOM: Stay completely still, honey. Breathe. Cover your genitals. KID: There are so many sequins! I can see them reflecting onto the walls. mcsweeneys.net/articles/mom-h…

Bought a 250 horsepower motorboat. Imagine my disappointment when I got it out on the lake and discovered horses can’t swim.

How many times does Steph need to do this before ppl give him his due as an all-time great?? #NBAPlayoffs

Good job by Mat Ishbia to draw that foul. #spartandawg #NBAPlayoffs2023

It ain’t easy being the Sorrow of Moldavia. So much sorrow.

I don’t see no dang eclipse. Looks like the weather guys got it wrong again.

#AaronRodgers taking a lot of shots tonight, in stark contrast to what he did during the COVID-19 pandemic. #MNF

My top three favorite bands, in no particular order, are all Hoobastank. #FreeSpeech