Gambling just doesnt do anything for me why would i play bad games that could also cause me to lose my home

Started working out again and now my plates look like a death row inmate’s last meal

taco tuesday innit

Getting a lot of ads for AI and sports betting on the videos i watch about how bad AI and sports betting are for people

Nextdoor posts are like, Looking for a skilled flooring guy WHO WONT FUCK MY WIFE

Lets just say i walked into the break room with a rotisserie chicken and walked out with the skeleton of a bird

I expected nothing and im still disappointed

Imagine youre next in line to get named after the kingfisher and the ornithology committee decides you’re gonna be called the yellow-bellied sapsucker

"The Case Against Universal Free Lunch"

Gettin my tube tied… and by tube, i mean…. my peanits

The only way i put away laundry is if i tell myself im gonna put away one thing and then do that 23 times

I dont even care about having security theater at airports i just think its funny hes downsizing his promises he’ll never fulfill

How autistic is that that i want to make a how interested are you survey of 100 of my interests with a “very, somewhat, not at all” format so that i can know what to talk about with people

I love when a museum has a dark room with a video about a subject theyre exhibiting. I feel like im at da movies

You ever look at someone and immediately tell they think theyre great at sportsbetting

“you don’t owe anyone anything” is for, like, trauma survivors learning to care about themselves for the first time or whatever. it’s not for you when you’re an Awful Friend

People dont use the word crap like they used to