Obviously, I’d love for Trump to be imprisoned for the rest of his life.

But short of that, being forced to attend Barron’s graduation is a very close second.

It’s not about abortion.

It’s about hatred and mistrust of women.

And “this” is what he’s saying to try to get elected. Imagine his draconian treatment of women were he to win.

I’d listen to this lady.

I can’t remember if this is a truism, a tautology, or neither.

But Donald Trump is like the Trump University of political candidates.

I tend to do my best tweeting between the hours of “everyone’s asleep” and “no one’s awake.”

Perhaps not coincidentally, that’s also when I do my best eating.

I don’t have that many “rules” for prospective political candidates.

Don’t try to overturn free & fair elections.

Don’t incite & direct violent insurrections.

Don’t murder your own puppy.

I’m sure there are more. But that’s all I’ve got for now.

There aren’t that many things that might disqualify someone from higher office.

But murdering your own dog has to be up there.

President Obama wears a tan suit.

MAGA: He’s unfit for office!

President Obama uses Dijon mustard.

MAGA: He should be impeached!

Governor Noem murders her dog in cold blood.

MAGA: What a frontier individualist— let’s get her on the ticket!!

The double standard thought experiment I always employ:

Could you imagine if Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama had admitted to murdering their own dog?!!

MAGA nation would’ve blown up the planet.

But Kristi Noem does it?

“She still seems like a viable VP candidate.”

Mon dieu.

Trump is nothing new.

Americans have always fallen prey to grifters, con men, and snake oil salesman.

Haven’t you seen every episode of Bonanza ever? (Says the oldest living man on Twitter)

Remember when we assumed that not turning over his tax returns would disqualify Trump in the eyes of most Americans?

Come on, United States. Why the double standard?!

Donald Trump never attended the White House Correspondents Dinner as President.

He never attended the Kennedy Center Honors.

And he decidedly didn’t attend his successor’s Inauguration.

Yet he can be found daily in a Manhattan courthouse.

He wasn’t fit to lead then. Or now.

One of Trump's VP favorites says that parents should stay in a violent marriage 'for the kids.'

Another frontrunner murdered her family dog.

'All the best people?'

Really?

Can you imagine waking from a coma (Mazel Tov on that) only to learn that sizable swaths of Americans want to throw out valid election results to illegally keep the blowhard from Home Alone 2 as president?

“Nurse, do you think we could re-induce that coma?”

I swear, up until the late 80’s, my biggest differences with the GOP involved tax and spending priorities.

Do you know what it didn’t involve?

Violently dismantling the guardrails of democracy in order to anoint a racist game show host from Queens as dictator.

Fair question. Because you know how dogs are ALWAYS ripping the scalps off of cousins.

I’ve often had policy differences in my life with presidents from the other party.

But until Trump, I never gave a moment’s thought to the American Experiment being destroyed from within.

She even predicted the future

Please tell me this isn’t real. Yet, I know with 100% certainty that it must be real.