Puritanism and prohibition are failures

If you know who you are voting for don’t take the propaganda pamphlets. If you don’t know then you’re too stupid to vote so fuck off.

Why the fuck are your children playing with toys in the waiting line?

Answer the phone. If it’s a marketing call hang up. How precious are you?

Helium balloons as a gift are an indication of how fucking ignorant you are

Clean under your nails

Spineless time-wasters—too timid to speak, too rude to hang up sooner.

Australia is fast becoming a place of crimethink

Your decision to have children doesn't make you more important, just more distracted. Don’t mistake your personal life for public interest—or your reduced output for virtue.

Shut up and sit down

Why are you breeding if you have no future?

Hey USA your’e a puritanical Prohibitionist failed state

Working from home must be exhausting—so many hours spent toggling between pretending to parent and pretending to work. Hard to tell which one is the performance.

Easy ways to spot a sad neurotic fuckwit. They carry a water bottle. Just fuck off you don’t live in the Atacama

I hate your ankle boots

Shove your crocs and your jibbitz up your arse

God I just want to slam you in the face with a cricket bat when I see you vaping