"Cows kill more people every year than sharks"

Me: I’m pretty shy and reserved Me after a single drink:

What improv team is this?

I is smart. I is handsome. I is capable.

what a joyful way to start the morning! A Must watch. 🥰

"I married my best friend," gushed the bride, standing next to 6 women who spent $8K apiece to support & celebrate her in that life event.

yes.

whenever football happens i always think about Jenny Slate’s excellent little bit about football from Stage Fright

almost choked on my coffee 💀

Ember never wanted to leave, she said she’s been forced to. “I don't feel safe in this state,” she said. She’ll be attending college out of state, despite getting a scholarship in OH. “People are going to leave & the ones who don’t have the money to leave are going to hate it.”

With states enacting bans on gender-affirming care, banning participation in sports, & placing restrictions on drag queens, there is no denying this is a difficult moment in our history. But together, we will stand up to the anti-LGBTQ+ bullies.

LUGGAGE CAROUSEL ETIQUETTE: IF U DONT SEE UR BAG YET, PLS DONT STAND RIGHT UP ON THE CAROUSEL. IT TAKES A PERSON ON FOOT LITERALLY 10 SECONDS TO JUST WALK UP WHEN THEY SEE THEIR BAG and then you’re NOT IN EVERYONE’S WAY WHILE YOU WAIT

my lower back hurts just looking at this.

The Madwoman of Chaillot has arrived at the #TheMetGala2023

mike pence hired Jeb!’s graphic designer. just amazing. 0/10 no notes.

The Long History of Nobody Wants to Work Anymore 🧵

that one Nazgul on vacation in Italy

With my mother. Daddy’s funeral. He wasn’t assassinated because he wanted his children to be judged “by the content of their character.” But for dismantling racism, poverty & militarism. He wanted corrective measures to eradicate racism, not the delusion that it doesn’t exist.