I took a sip of the McDonald’s sprite and it took a sip out of me🥴

I’m a whore for that lovey dovey shit

I wonder if bears know how lucky they are to be fat all winter and just get to sleep through it all

Convinced B🌻 is my soul mate. Try to change my mind

Daddy? Sorry… daddy?👀

Well, well, well, look what the selfie dragged in🤣

Forgot to change my shoes before walking out of the house so I’ll be working a 12 hour shift in my slippers…

A coworker described me as “chaotic in the most positive way” and that is the most accurate description I’ve ever heard of myself

how tf am i supposed to stand on business when ovulating

In the spirit of another 0500 workout complete, may my stomach get flatter and my ass get fatter, amen🙏

missionary because i think HE’S pretty

him : “are u stupid?” me:

Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?

😭