Oh you backed into your parking spot, I didn’t realize I was dealing with a secret agent on a classified mission

He was swallowed by a giant animatronic serpent during a revival show

I wrote about Texas banning lab-grown meat, after our leaders took a stand for "real Texas food" aka Whataburger, gas station pizza, and meat that had the decency to die screaming. #txlege thebarbedwire.com/2025/07/02/tex…

I wrote about how it feels particularly weird to celebrate the Fourth of July this year. thebarbedwire.com/2025/07/03/fou…

Get back to tweeting about medicaid work requirements, "suburban dad of six kids" lol

I refused to be lectured by a National Review writer with a Sonic avatar (also I will never touch grass, I am a real gamer check my resume)

The responses to this have been great at highlighting how the right can't just enjoy being in charge, there always has to be an enemy to police (ideally by replying on twitter with the dumbest shit possible)

Brian Gaar They want to be in charge, they want to dick everyone over while being in charge, and they want everyone to like them for it at the same time. Petulant children constantly seeking approval from everybody and getting upset when they don't receive it.

Thank you, Brian Gaar for putting some words to this really odd feeling I believe many of us have right now in America. This Fourth of July is Red, White & Bleak thebarbedwire.com/2025/07/03/fou…

I'm at work, because I work in a hospital. But there ain't nothing to celebrate today. Spare me the performative patriotism that is covering up the denial/purposeful obliviousness. #SorryNotSorry

Brian Gaar i think about this tweet every day when i do not back into a parking spot

then explain how i'm married to the game