Had Olly & Freddy at the match. Blistering start seen us kill any sort of contest off pretty quickly. 4 goals & a missed pen. They didnt offer too much to be honest, little bit in the closing stages. Isak is some boy, he’ll defo go on bigger one day. #NUFC 4-0 #Girona #SelaCup

What. A. Start. To. The. Season! #GatesheadFC 5-1 #EbbsfleetUnited #WeAreTopOfTheLeague

Down Leeds for a party with Alice’s mates. 3 hubby’s have turned up: me, the kids whose anniversary it is, and the one who is DJ! So it’s essentially me on a table with a load of Alice’s girl mates. I will report tomorrow what I get up to, because I’m about to get shit faced!

Blasted up to Sandy Bay with my gang for a night at the caravan with Al, his misses, the bairns, and my favourite (Bella the dog). Bumped in to 2 kids from Oliver and Freddy’s football that were randomly there as well.

Brereton Diaz stick that up you! Shambolic refereeing, Schar is a fucking tit, torture at time but I don’t care, 3 points is all that matters. Up until the sending off they were giving us a good game. #NUFC 1-0 #Southampton #FootballIsBack

Early night needed, done in from last night down Leeds, Leeds, Leeds with Alice. #MintNight #446

We’ve robbed them there! Nowt wrong with their winner in my opinion. I’d be raging if we had one chalked off for that. Couple of spells were decent but overall we weren’t very good. One positive, we got to see Barnes & Gordon on the pitch together works. #Bournemouth 1-1 #NUFC

Bank holiday weekend over in a flash! Put some drink away mind! #BillQuayBeerFestival

Blistering start, scored after 18 seconds closely followed up with a big chance for Tonali. Mint to see him back, cracking 60mins for him. Then we let them back in to it by just not playing very well. Lotto of pen we our way! #NottsForest 1-1 #NUFC (3-4 pens) #InTheHat

I still can’t believe that the dodgy cup draw has been allowed to happen. Unless I am missing something obvious, the only thing that comes from it is the big boys dodge each other. It’s still the same amount of games… #CarabaoCup

Honestly thought we’d have done something today, even when the early rumours were going round that there were no more incomings. Bit of an underwhelming transfer window then; sold 2 youngster that I really didn’t want to & didn’t bring in anything flash. Somethings a miss… #NUFC

Hanging today! Out for the match, full day on the lash. Got a Chinese for the metro ride home, then a kebab for the walk home. Stopped for a little nap about 5 minutes away from my house, got woken up by the rain. Fell asleep on the settee. #FatBoy

Just watched Match of the day to refresh me about the match yesterday. They had the better of it, but who cares when you get 3 points. Glad Murphy got an assist because he was the worst ever when he came on! Barnes, Gordon & Isak are defo our best attacking line! #NUFC 2-1 #Spurs

That’s it, our Sammy had his last day at nursery today. #ThreeBigLads

We’ve had pizza night Friday for years. ALWAYS get the same thing. Was telling Alice last week how the coke from that chippy is my favourite (they import it from somewhere). This week she turns up with a different flavour drink, then looks at me like Im a twat because I’m fuming!

Kids Great North Run today. Me, Alice and the boys all started off together, ended up splitting up because Sammy was knackered, ended up crying the lazy little lump! £105 for 10 minutes… Kids like their medals I suppose. #JuniorGreatNorthRun

Bet the Irish are foaming with that gutless first half! Showed us way too much respect. More of a game the second half but it was done by then. Inevitable that Rice and Grealish would score. #Ireland 0-2 #England

Very comfortable, played our football and a straight forward 2-0 win. Standout players were Gordon (done well again), Kane (2 goals) and Angel Gomes (proper like this kid!) Lee Carsley takes another step closer to getting the job full time in my opinion. #England 2-0 #Finland

Big Sammy’s first day at preschool. All of the chaos brothers in the same school now… #MarshallBros

Right, I’ve given up! Running days are officially over! Calf has gone again and I honestly think I’ve tried everything! Worst bit, I was stranded and had to get back to pick the kids up. Took a short cut to through some trees and now my legs look like had fought a tiger.