I’m the announcer! Check the clip and full episode!

Moving to RI for a couple months. Seems silly, but I’m honestly thinking of doing one of those deals where they turn your old cherished t-shirts into a quilt. Who has a good company/person in mind for this?

I’m not laughing cuz they’re fighting, I’m laughing at how many “OHH”s there are. Like the Sopranos supercut lol

I have a colonoscopy tomorrow. Considering live-tweeting my ummm night of preparation. Gross, funny, or both? Yay or nay?

The only good thing I’ve seen in 2020. ESPN def desperate for sports these days tho. Ppl were prob betting on this lol. . - did you?

THE actual Patch Adams just called me! Not kidding (ironically)

That USC win over UCLA was bonkers. I felt like we were losing by 1,000 points. And somehow won. I just love it & them so much. However, if #MarchMadness is even a fraction as intense, I will most certainly have a heart attack while my brain explodes. #FightOn

Commander Waterford talks and acts like George McFly. And now I cannot NOT hear and see that. Sorry and you’re welcome. #handmaidstale

Can anyone spot ur super silly boy?

True story: in HS, in argyle socks, after a screen, I ended up guarding #KwameBrown under the hoop. He got the ball, which he held over his head & looked down at me while the crowd giggled. SO I TICKLED HIM. The crowd went berserker. Then he dunked on me. But I still won.

You ever get so excited for bed it actually wakes you up a little bit?

I got two wishbones in one bird. That can NOT be good luck.

fandiem.com/products/tips?… #fandiem #contest

Wordle 228 3/6 ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟨🟩🟩⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Wordle 229 3/6 🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟨⬛🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Wordle 231 3/6 🟩⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Check out my Capital One Basketball Fan Cam from #MFinalFour basketballfancam.com/final-four-202… #CapitalOneFanFest

Joking around is my offense mechanism

I think it’s kinda funny that LOVE would always be like “can’t stop, won’t stop” but then says “can’t stop til I see my name on a blimp.” That actually sets the bar relatively low in this case. By that metric, it was feasible for him to indeed stop (ftr I’m glad he didn’t)

Dear Mr. Weird Al Yankovic, pls make a parody of Unstoppable by sia to be “I’m Uncomfortable”. It can be physical things like a wedgie and/or awkward situations like an elevator. Thank you and you’re welcome.