used to be a BIG fireworks girly. now i think every participant belongs in jail.

god please take away jason kelce’s pain and give it to Ted Cruz

It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over

The pastor who did our premarital counseling died about 2 years ago. The thing I remember the most was when we were talking about family expectations. Did we intend for me to stay at home with kids, were we fine with me working? We both gave a unanimous agreement for me to stay

my brain at 3am

Usher #HalftimeShow #SuperBowl2024

Arnold Palmer, but if you add some Tequila it becomes a Keke Palmer.

the best part about being in a ton of 2023 pregnancy/baby groups is getting to see all the absolutely wretched names parents are coming up with these days. here are some highlights i’ve collected

joe alwyn to matty healy tonight

AND SHE IS RIGHT

i think it’s only fair that the chiefs reciprocate this energy and put taylor in for a drive

once again

I don’t care what some crackpot doctor on WebMD says, it is ridiculous to assume a purring cat is going to increase bone strength in any measurably significant amount. Running, lifting weights, eating a well balanced diet, these are things that improve bone strength. Sitting

"alright I think 3 days of nice weather is enough"

HEY ASTROS???

i know Gary Hartenburg has been WAITING for this