See! This is great advice! x.com/brandonnasumme…

Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s thousands of dollars of plastic surgery.

I’ve accomplished so many errands today it’s shocking! By errands, I mean dirty martinis. And by accomplished, I mean I drank them.

People are always accusing me of being larger than life. No babies, I am regular sized. It’s life that got small!

If God made the world, why am I so tired?

When asked what the best way is for a young starlet to get into Hollywood, Bette Davis answered “Take Fountain.” My advice is to just get global entry.

What do the feds and your past have in common? No matter how far you run they’re both gonna catch up to you. (Believe me, I’ve tried!)

Never underestimate the power of a good pout... or a slap across the face.

Oh babies, don’t sleep on these gorgeous channeled messages. x.com/queerty/status…

Hi Judith Shelton, I saw this, read it, and thought of you-- which is pretty surprising since I only ever think about myself. See you tonight! Bill Maher, Hannah Gadsby, and the State of Stand-up vulture.com/2018/07/bill-m… via Vulture

I’m a bitch, so you don’t have to be. You’re welcome. 💋💋💋 #drag #dragqueen #queen #naturalbeauty #workingactress #livinglegend #gay #queer #gayboy #instagay #queen #rupaul #dragrace #femme #genderfluid #beauty #fashion #model #topmodel #vogue #gorgeous #brandonnasummerlives

You can absolutely be too thin, but you can never be too related to the Kennedys. 💋💋💋 #drag #dragqueen #queen #naturalbeauty #workingactress #livinglegend #gay #queer #gayboy #instagay #queen #rupaul #dragrace #femme #genderfluid #beauty #fashion #model #topmodel #vogue

You couldn’t trust the smart woman lawyer, could you? She had too much experience. She wasn’t charming enough. Her healthcare plan wasn’t perfect. She fainted after a long weekend of campaigning. You said she was a pathological liar...now look what we have.

This is a trash human with a trash heart. I’m so disappointed, babies.

Take a deep breath, babies. Can you smell my perfume? That’s what money smells like.

The air-quality in Los Angeles is so bad these days that if I want to take a fresh breath of air, I huff glue. Kidding, just kidding, babies. What I actually do is smoke a cigarette.

Babies! Come see my stand-up debut! You won’t want to miss this.

Donald Trump wants the US to be an authoritarian state without a free press. Fortunately most Americans can see through his act. nytimes.com/2018/08/01/opi…

Elizabeth Taylor, eat your heart out!

New Moon. Same old me. Well not old, I’m practically a millennial but you know what I’m saying.