Serious responses I've received after telling people I've been to to all 50 states (in order of most common response):

Even Alaska?
Even Hawaii?
Why did you go to North Dakota?
Ah, so you've been to Minnesota?
Oh God - why?
When are you going to the 51st state?

Sometimes I forget LB quietly lurks OnHere until its 11pm and I am just about to drift off to sleep and she says something like 'I see you made your little joke but your followers took my side'

Pretty much, yes. Everything until they persuaded me to take this current job.

Holy shit Not Any Use they are about to crack this caper wide open!

Hanhiero Flanagan Elaine: Jerry, she's 17. You can't go on a date with her!
George: Why not, she's mature for her age.
Kramer: Nope - can't do it buddy. *makes weird hand motion*
Jerry: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH WOKE?!!

This man could walk into any studio head's office and get a new sitcom greenlit in less than an hour.

Call me when you have carbuprofen and officeprofen.

Everything is normal here in suburbia where LadyBear has just accused our new neighbors of stealing or wifi naming convention.

The funny thing is that I couldn't choose eagle because I immediately think of Philly. Just like how the Saints ruined the fluer de lis for me.

This time I mean it. This will be the last baseball hat I ever buy.

I love my sister. She is very intelligent and highly logical. She was an engineer and has two masters degrees.

So - imagine my surprise this week to find out she did not know the origin of the phrase 'drink the kool aid' or that we lost the Vietnam War.

Entire class cheated on several quizzes. When we got caught and suspended I said to my dad - 'what if you were working as hard as you could but everyone around you was cheating' and he said 'you've never worked as hard as you could at anything a day in your life'

So it turns out that all of these posts about women wanting to hang out in the woods with a bear are not about me.

That one is trickle down Dunkin so you can only have crumbs that rich people drop off their donuts.

Here a block there a block everywhere a block block

This is also why, in litigation, your oldest cases have the most drama.

Got 'em

I love my boy even if he can't hunt, kept me up all night with vomiting and diarrhea, and sometimes steals your drink.

It's 'urban' to take showers. Soon it will be woke and then DEI to take showers. This is the future that liberals want. Stay stinky - don't let them win.

I met my mom for coffee this morning and she was genuinely sad when I needed to leave to go to work and I just hope y'all have someone in your life that gasses you up that much.