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me when the old disabled lady on the train wants my seat so I suggest we play a game for it:

call me a sex worker the way I put the work in when I am having sex

call me Garfield the way I get a lot of pasta and abuse my dog🔥🔥

me after getting life changing top from your darling old mother:

call me a push/pull door the way I swing both ways and let men and women come inside

shit like this is why y’all are broke 🤣

cool cool when the Chris Benoit sidequest DLC dropping tho

Bro clutcher than playoff LeBron

she oppen on my heimer til I drop the atomic bomb

my kid got molested by the guy who made The Simpsons at a 4D showing of #SoundOfFreedom #SoundofFreedomMovie 😕

alternate universe where the “zoo wee mama!” comic strips are transphobic and written by Greg’s best friend jk rowley

I would kill the guy who invented those stupid Rube Goldberg machines if I could figure out who he is

she lemony on my snicket until there’s a series of unfortunate events

like bill and ted’s excellent adventure but instead it’s just me and my kinda racist buddy showing this entire video to the U.S. founding fathers #ObamaIsGay

kai cenat this, gyatt that… seems to me like some of y’all need to GYATT a lobotomy

What are bro’s favorite snacks? All of them??? #Sheesh

Dont text, mom ate the last of my tendies

Stop eating crumbs with the bums and come eat a feast with the beast